National Tear Day? I wonder

It was one of those days. Felt very emotional, on the edge. And, no, it is not PMS.
Feed up with alot of aspects of Life - things at work, personal things. Never seem to get ahead. Try to be responsible at work and then panic at things - this of course while others sleep at their desk or take a 1/2 hour long distance phone call twice a day.
So I spent a couple of hours this morning just trying to hold it together, to not just be crying.
I get thru the day. I go to pick up DD at Pre-kindergarten/day care.
Find out she also has been quick to tears ALL day too.
So, is it in the air or what?

One thing that is weighing on the back of my brain is the fact my counselor of years moved to another state. It is just short of an hour from my house. But with the schedule as it is, the only day I could feasibly go is on a Saturday. So then if something comes up and i need to reschedule, it's a whole week before i can go again.
She used to be down the street from work. I'd go at lunch time, get everything out, feel like I let it all go and go back to work -- not taking anything away from my motherhood duties. But the distance just was not going to work. So this past Saturday, I told her I would have to find someone more local.
She totally understood. But starting over is scary. And there was only one person she personally knew that she could recommend - but that person only has hours a couple days a week. ugh - I'm not looking forward to starting over.

She also told me she was proud of me. How far I've come in the time she has known me. How she admires my strength, how strong I am. How large of a heart I have. Gee, even as I write this, tears are flowing. I'm not strong. I feel like I'm on the edge, on the fragile fence and can fall over at any time. I try to just do, to do for my daughter. And I keep on going for her. And as soon as she is in bed, I feel myself shut down. The depression seems to grow without her smiley face right there.
One day, my counselor complemented me on my work outfit, how i look "together". I laughed, explained how i make sure my clothes are machine wash tumble dry and how this stuff was pulled from a pile and i shook out the wrinkles. I can pull myself together when I 'have to' but inside I don't feel together.

I guess that is what is getting me - being called "proud" and told she "admired" my strength. Because I don't feel strong.
And being called strong makes me realize how un-strong I am.