But Mom, We Can Do ANYTHING If We Try.....

Don't you hate when your child throws your words back at you?!

It has been a lazy, long weekend in our household. I'm still trying to take it easy after the procedure I had done on Wednesday. On Sunday, my daughter asks if we can sew. Well, sewing with a 6 year old is not always an easy task. I had figured our next sewing project would be a pillowcase for her bed. I have several character print fabrics and figured it would be easy and something useful.

I pull out several pieces of fabric and DD picks out a white background Pokemon fabric that has yellow Pikachu's and some other pink Pokemon on it. I figure great - and we'll use a different color fabric - pink - for the cuff of the case.

Well, I start to get everything ready. Get "her" machine out and set up, I iron the fabric. She says she does not want to make a pillowcase. She wants to make a Pikachu. (side note: We took a mother daughter class last year and made a teddy bear out of flannel - sort of shaped more like a gingerbread man cookie). I tell her I don't have any yellow fabric. She does not want yellow fabric, she wants to use the white, print fabric. I tell her it would be really hard to cut it and make it look like Pikachu and, without yellow fabric, it really would not look like Pikachu.

"But Mom, We Can Do ANYTHING If We Try...."

With a heavy sigh, I ask her to draw a photo of what Pikachu would look like.
I then proceeded to cut the fabric.
DD sewed it - with very little guidance from the momma. We then stuffed it - using a chopstick to help push the fiberfill in.

And here is the finished result......

It was a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Things a 6 year old says....

Dog is barking because pizza guy is at the door.

DH (to dog): "Do you know how loud you are?!"

DD (who is 6): "Kaboomy Loud"

Another Year Older but 4" Taller....

DD had her annual physical today.
Her birthday is in October but for some reason, we are now into having the physical in December (you know, health care plan rules - it must be 366 from the last annual so it keeps getting bumped).
Last year - between the ages of 4 and 5, she grew 4".
Since our last physical and now - where we are 6 years old and 2 months - we have grown 3 3/4" -- just shy of 4".
She is 51 3/4" tall.
The average size of a girl who is 8 years old and 2 months.

It is a fact that maternal grandfather was over 6 feet tall. But my mother was 5 feet, 3/4" tall.
It is a fact that DH (who is 6 feet) has a paternal aunt that, if asked her height, replies "I'm 5 feet, 13 1/2" tall".
So I should not be overly surprised.

Looks like DD has picked up the tall genes.
And the good news is she is healthy in all other ways right now.... knock on wood!!!!

Anyone know of a kindergarten basketball league so we can start working on that athletic scholarship??

Christmas Spirit is Alive and Well

Yesterday, we went to a local attraction (Edaville Railroad in Carver, Ma). DH, DD a friend of DD and her father also joined us to experience the lights and train ride. It was a rather chilly evening.

The girls (both 6) were SO excited when we got there. On the train ride, every different light display resulted in a "OH LOOK OVER HERE" and an "AWESOME".

My DD wanted a specific souvenir we had seen many children with. A multi color light up "sword". I didn't see them in the gift shop or anyway. I was standing with my DD alone and I stopped a man who had a young girl that was carrying the sword. I asked where he got it and how much it was. My fear was it was only available as part of the carnival games we saw around. He said there are vendors walking around - which I hadn't noticed - and it is $5. He asked if I only had the one girl. I said we have a friend with us too. He said if I couldn't find a vendor, if you go into the gift shop and ask at the counter, they do have them. I thanked him for the information and went back to talking to my DD - because I thought $5 was a bit much and I really *should* get two - one for our friend too. DD really wanted it and was trying to tell me what she could go without in order to get one.

Before DD and I could leave the spot we were standing in, the man comes over with two swords and says "Merry Christmas". I was touched. DD said thank you. I wished him Happy Holidays. He made my DD's day with that gift.

So, yes, Santa is there - and he shows himself when you least expect it.

Patience

Patience.
I was told from a young age that I don't have any. At times, I will agree with that statement. (Especially at say the grocery store. There is something about that place that gets under my skin.)
I was told by a very significant person in my life that I should not become a teacher and that I should never have kids because that person told me I had no patience.

Here is today's no patience story --
Today, DD - who is 6, mind you - and I assembled her new computer desk. DH had been fixing up the old computer so DD could have her own. We needed a place to put it and earlier this week, I headed to Ikea and found a pink computer workstation for her and also a pink chair. Well, on Tuesday, when I brought the boxes in the house, she was biting at the bit for the chair. She helped me put the chair together right then and was very, very happy with it.

Wednesday, I thought I would get it put together while she was at school. Instead, I hooked up with a friend of mine (and her little infant) and we did some chatting, some shopping and some lunching... :)
Thursday - Thanksgiving - DD wants to make her desk right away when she wakes up but we needed to pack up to go to Grammy's house. She said when we get home we can do it. DD fell asleep in the car on the way back and went right to bed.

So, now it is Friday. And after I go hit a couple "Black Friday" sales, I get coffee and have breakfast. I figure it is time - and DD is eager to help.

Assembling any type of furniture can be trying at times. I know I've used many swear words on other items that needed assembling in the past. But with DD helping - and being ever so cute as she tries - well, it went fine. I did think at one point how much patience this is taking -- as I wait for DD to try her plastic screwdriver and her plastic hammer on the pieces. It was cute. And she also got so excited figuring out what piece went where next.

(read this sarcastic please) Imagine how much more fun I could have had if only I could have been patient.

Bad Blogger, Bad Blogger

Yes, I am a bad blogger.
I have not been here since the end of August. Life seems just crazy.
I think I'm just going to try to do posts of many little things.
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Today, my DD who is now 6 (can you believe that??) is sitting in the back of the mini van playing with two dolls. She is pretending school. I hear "There are 6 in the class" and that they are practicing for a singing show. Then all of a sudden, DD says "Mom??" -- Which if you have a 6 year old, you know sometimes hearing that just makes you want to change your name because they say it over, and over, and over, and over, and over....... well, you get the picture.
So I say "Yes, honey". And she responds "Mom, I love you."
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Christmas is like 40-something days away! UGHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Junie B. Jones is an awesome book series. If you have not checked it out, do so IMMEDIATELY!
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Last week, DD said she wanted to be a teacher when she grows up.
Yesterday it was President and she would call a meeting and tell everyone that everything is free except for cars (1 cent each) and houses (2 cents each).
Today, at school, they did an art project of what they wanted to be. Today it is a "Police Girl" that will catch all the bad guys.
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A few weeks ago, DD wanted to be a director and make up the stories like "Clone Wars" but with a different girl character. Then when I told her to tell her dad what she wanted to be and why, her answer was "a director so I can tell everyone what to do." :)
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My house is a mess - seems worst than usual. There is not enough hours in a day when you work full time. Oh why could i have been born rich instead of beautiful??? (okay, you can stop choking on that one now).

More to come -- sooner -- I promise.

Growing Up

Why do your children grow so fast?

I sit here - in two days, my daughter starts Kindergarten. She is staying at the same school as she did for Pre-K and day care so there is no change there. She has been at this place since she was 18 months old. We know the teachers, she is comfortable there. I feel secure with her there.

But here I am, thinking this is a GIANT MILESTONE in my little one's life.

She is growing so fast. She wanted her cut short - and it makes her look like she's 8 or 9! Well, until she smiles and she has no teeth - the other top tooth fell out a couple days ago. So we officially have no upper front teeth.

She acts so grown up. She puts things together you would never think of. She has started reading.

And today, as we did crafts, she turns to me and says "Is Santa Real?". Caught me off guard. My response "Well, what do you think? He brought you presents last Christmas, right?". She says yes and I think she is no longer questioning it. But I wonder what brought this up? Is she already doubting it on her own? We were watching a Scooby Doo movie (that had nothing to do with Christmas and doing Perler bead ornaments for family members for Christmas -- so perhaps that is why Christmas was on the mind.

Later this afternoon, I took her to the playground at the park. She played with a large group of kids - mostly older than her by a couple of years. The group consisted of all ethnic groups. I was proud watching her play with them because they were all children who wanted to play and nothing else matter. Just goes to show you prejudice is a learned trait.

My baby is growing up.

5 Year Old Loses 5th Tooth.... At Camp

Yes, DD lost yet another tooth. In one year she has lost 5 teeth! DH seems concerned but I know I had lost several by the time I was her age also.

For some reason, this made me sad. I'm not sure why. Perhaps the lost of another tooth indicates that she is truly growing up and she's not my baby anymore. She is getting so tall that it is getting harder to snuggle with her in a chair. She must be over 50" tall now. She talks so well - has such deep thoughts at time. She has started reading (Mind you, she has not started Kindergarten yet). She even uses deductive reasoning.

Your kids grow up and it's supposed to be a good thing. But it does leave a sad spot.

Tooth Number 4 - GONE - and other stuff

Yes, yet another tooth has left.
Thursday evening just before bed time, another of DD's tooth decided to come out. Boy oh boy - I give the Tooth Fairy credit. She probably has her route all laid out and then at 8pm, out comes another tooth for a boy or girl. Now she has to juggle her schedule to get to everyone that night. Glad I don't have her job.

I have been on vacation from work for a week and 1/2 and I really don't want to go back on Monday but unless I win the lottery tonight, I guess I won't have a choice. I should have married for money. It might not "buy" happiness but it could sure make things easier.

On vacation, DD, our good friend Kiki and her DD went away to NH to a yarn conference. We took a couple of classes and my DD behaved while I was in class. We also did Canobie Lake Park. That was a great day. It wasn't too hot or humid. There is an awesome breeze throughout the park. We got back mid-week but I still took days off of work. Of course I had visions of grandeur of things I could get done but all i have done is play with DD and take her places. I know - she is this age only once. And I waited so long for her that I want to spend time with her but then when do I get anything accomplished? I guess I just can't juggle well.

...and.... Another Tooth Bites the Dust

Tonite at 8:40pm, DD lost her 3rd tooth. it is on the bottom just like the last two.

With the first two she lost, the adult teeth had already cut thru her gums. They were visible so it was not noticible that she had lost any teeth.

However, this one, the new adult tooth is not showing and she is going to have a "hole" in her smile.

Now to wait for the tooth fairy to come tonite.... hope it's not too late for her to know about it!

Making time for kids & having to tag along

In 5 ½ years, my daughter has….

• Taken dance lessons for 2 years
• Performed in 3 dance recitals, including one in Hershey Park in Hershey, PA
• Taken a gymnastics class
• Taken swim classes
• Taken ice skating lessons
• Took part in Girls Instructional Softball
• Has been to Disney and stayed on the monorail (and we won’t be doing that again any time soon $$$$)
• Has been to Sesame Park in Langhorne, Pennsylvania 3 times

I sit here and realize she did more in 5 1/2 years than I did in my first 18 years of life.

And I do know why. My mom did not drive and she was busy with her life. Anytime I asked to become involved in something I was told either she couldn't drive me, it cost too much (which we definitely had middle-income for back in the 70's), or I would hear "You won't stick with it.".

I think I know the real reason. My mom was too busy figuring out her life she didn't want to be committed to something. She didn't want to commit the time to get me somewhere every week at a specific time. She wanted to keep her calendar open in case something came along. And though some my say I was spoiled rotten, I did not get what I wanted. I didn't get to do things I wanted.

Having your child involved in activities takes alot of time. Planning. Even what will we have for dinner because we have to be at the field at 6:00. You cannot put yourself first if your child is involved in something. Well, I guess you could and not have your child participate for every instance but then what is that showing them? It is okay to say "I'll do it" and then not. No, no, no. That would not be good.

So I have signed my DD up for whatever she has asked for and I bring her to everything. I'm glad she has interests and I hope she discovers something she really, truly, and deeply enjoys to continue with.

I have one bad habit with my DD. I always ask her if she wants to go with me out - like say shopping. If not, as long as DH is home (well, he's always home :) ) and awake, she can stay home. I believe this is also from my childhood. My mom did not drive. She had to walk everywhere. My dad worked 6 days a week as a mechanic. There was no one to watch me so I had to go everywhere with my mom. To the corner store, to unemployment when she got laid off, to her work (she cleaned houses for people), I even had to go with her to a bar when my parents separated. I didn't like it but there was no choice. And I believe on some level I hold a grudge about having to tag along everywhere. So therefore, if at all possible, I will ensure my DD wants to be with me and not just drag her with me.

Amazing how our childhood can affect us, eh?

Must Share Overheard Conversation of a 5 year Old

As I try to surf, DH is reading to DD from a Disney story book we borrowed.
The story of the "Aristocats" just mentioned that the butler decided to take the cats to TIMBUKTO.

I hear my 5 year old interrupt Daddy and ask "Where's TIMBUK-1?"


(Be sure to my other blog for today on TAGGING....)

Best made plans.... are not....

Sometimes going with the flow is better.
I had envisioned a weekend of accomplishing things. Nothing on my list is done.
The long weekend is over. But it was a fun time.

DD didn't even want to go to the parade. She wanted to go to the big playground at the local park. We went for almost 2 hours. Stopped for coffee and donuts and went and ate there. I brought softball paper work to do. But she made some friends, played around in the sun, got great exercise.

We got home and she went on the computer while I finished the softball work and watched "Fraiser" on DVD (how I love that show!!). Then she was willing to watch "The Muppet Show" (another of my favs) but I think it was because she just wanted to share time with me.

We played outside yesterday - catch and a bit of soccer. We played Uno (it's actually "My First Uno with Pooh" - it is only about 50 cards and just a wild card and draw 2 - no draw 4, no skips). We played Uno more today -- and I swear she inherited my mother's ability to play the game!!! I have not mentioned strategy to her at all - but she had saved 3 wild cards for the end of one game to ensure she could just go right out!!

How I wish I had even more time to spend like this with my daughter. She'll only be this age once. The messy house can just wait.

Last night as she went to bed - mind you, her bedroom is not "finished". There are baskets of laundry and buckets of storage stuff on one half. But last nite, as she was going to bed, she said "I love my room". I think she meant she loves the "love" in the house. And that is the only thing that needs not be "messy"! The rest of the mess just doesn't matter.

Family Fun Night - and parents....

I am thoroughly exhausted.
It is 9:30 pm. I have been on the go since I left the house at 8pm. Work, then out to dinner and back to the Pre-school for Family Fun Night! I offered to help - they asked parents to volunteer for 1/2 slots. I was in the arts and crafts room then I was able to go around with DD to the other rooms (Dance, Tattoo, Snack, Games, Bingo). It was fun. As DD said on the way out "That was a WILD Party!".... LOL

But my brain stops to ponder -- about people. Other parents.
I see some volunteer to help in the room. They do nothing. One woman in the game room just chatted with other parents - didn't try to lure kids into play. For example there was a "stick the ice cream topping on the ice cream cone" game. No one was even showing kids it was there. I looked at it with a friend and it looked like just 6 stickers could be used and they were not removable. Later while in the room, I noticed on the counter that there were PACKAGES of other sticker toppings - so yes, all the kids could have been trying that game. But the parents were physically there but not really there. Granted you could say they might not have received instruction -- but they are parents and should know how to wing it!!

As opposed to me. One of the assistants of one of the other classes was in the Crafts room. I asked what she wanted to do. She didn't know - said one of the teachers is doing it. But then she asks them and they tell her basically to just run the room.
One of the crafts was a white cardboard mask that could be decorated. There were boxes of markers. I suggested putting markers and masks on one table and let them just come in and make the masks. I put all the masks in the middle of the table.
The other craft was a foam picture frame. There were three different packages to choose from... One that had like 20 jellybeans, one that had about 8-10 flowers and one that had 10 ladybugs and each bug was 4 or 5 pieces! Well, that's alot of pieces for 3 to 6 year olds to do when there are other rooms and other stuff to do in the short time of the event. On top of that, in each package, you had to punch out the pieces. And then use glue and foam and glue just don't work well sometimes.
The person from the school in the room wanted to just put one package at each seat. I first suggested at least making 3 piles of packages in the middle of the table so kids could come in and choose.
The first girl to make a frame picked the ladybugs but only but 3 bugs on her frame so there were many, many pieces left over. I think - lets open up kits - open up all the pieces and let the kids mix and match the pieces! I start to do that and more people showed up and I think it seemed like the kids liked coming right in, sitting right down and start the craft -- instead of coming in, having to open the package, punch it all out, then put it together. To me, it seemed like common sense in order to make the activity fun and quick so kids move onto other areas.

Then the parents that sort of guide their child from room to room and then leave. Maybe spending a 1/2 hour at most to visit all the rooms. Not letting their child stop to play. I don't understand. This is a special event - it may become a yearly thing - who knows. But I know DD has been talking about this "Party" all week long.

And then there are the parents who have to be "adults". They can't let loose and enjoy the moment. Like dance with your 5 year old and not care who else is watching. In fact, a little boy in DD's class asked me to dance with him and I don't think in a million years his mother would do that in a situation like this - with people watching. Besides, she was too busy chatting with other mothers.

As for me, I chatted a bit, but I stayed with my daughter. I played Bingo when she asked me to, I danced, I helped with the arts and crafts -- even later when we went into the room to "visit" I still helped some kids out.

Children are our future. They will be the ones controlling the world someday. We have to invest in them - invest our time and energy.

I feel a parent is responsible for trying to raise a responsible human being. If you are not ready to do that, to help mold a person for a productive life, then don't have children. Just my 2 cents.

Just Stuff....

1) SHOPPING. Today was a "badly needed" Monday. I took the day off of work - and Shopped, Shopped, and Shopped.
All those places you want to go browse, the sales you think you want to hit, -- the things you just don't have time for.
I feel much better. It really is therapeutic. I don't know if most people can understand that. B.C. (Before Child) I would do that practically every Saturday. Have a small list of places with dreams of other places I wanted to go. Sometimes I go alone, sometimes I'd call my mother , sometimes it was with a few friends and we went a farther distance too. But it was no schedule, just go, go, go. And that is what I did today.

2) Mother's Day. It was just another day really. DD could not WAIT to give me my gift she made me at school. DH gave me a lovely card. We have been over-due a visit to the mother-in-laws so we went (we haven't gone the past couple of Mothers day because DD and DH were there usually the Saturday before Mothers day -- but Saturday was a birthday party so they did not go).
We did stop at the beach before going to MIL's house. That was really nice as DH tried to teach DD how to "tease the wave". And I was craving some clam cakes and chowder so we stopped, I bought a huge batch and we brought it over. It was a good visit - it was not as stressful as Easter felt.

3) Time. Where does it go? It seems just like yesterday DD was a wee baby. Here she is - 5 1/2 now. She is 49 inches tall (which is an average 7-8 yr old). Sometimes she is so funny, so amazing. For example, stopped at local ice cream place. Her favorite - a Tutti Fruitti Lemonade. As we are driving back home, I inquire "How is your Tutti Fruitti?". the reply - "It is just the way I like my Tutti Fruitti!". And yesterday, as we went to go see DH's Nana in the nursing home and had the great-niece with us (who is 5 months old) who started to cry in the car, DD said "I really wish we had brought the binky!". I do wish I could just freeze moments in time. They are so short, so fleeting.

4) Frustrations at Work. I'm fed up with one co-worker in particular. here he is - getting paid what I get paid. He could actually be making slightly more than me because he's been there a couple years more. He falls asleep 85% of the days for a good 1/2 hour. He talks on the phone with his "girlfriend" that is in the midwest for 40 mins to an hour. Why? She calls in on the toll free line. They have discussed schools for their son, they have discussed every single transaction made on the bank account, they have discussed movies, passports, basketball stars. Gee, maybe DH should call me during the day so we can chat and plan our daughters future!! NO, no, no.... I'll wait until after hours -- when my husband looses his energy and can barely stay awake to talk to me after dinner. this coworker will also not look up anything on his own and no matter how much i try to document things, he will not use the documentation. Just wait for someone to do it when we are at work.
So this weekend, this coworker had coverage (beeper/pager what ever you want to call it). He called and missed me as I was out doing errands before a b-day party. Then my boss called about 40 mins later -- just to confirm if this problem was similar to one the previous week.
On mother's day, we left around 12 noon and got in about 9:30 pm. There was a message on the answering machine (remind me to tell you about why I think I should get rid of this thing someday!) from the coworker. Called like 2:30 pm with a problem. Said he "searched the Internet" and couldn't figure out what to do. Said it couldn't be too big a problem since things seem to be working.
Well, the info on how to fix this is in two places on our system at work. Including what we call the "Information document". UGHHHHHH....
Of course, I have pointed all these things out. But to no avail. someone told me the manager is on top of everything - yet, here the coworker is still slacking and nothing is happening.
I have also asked to have my seat moved because he sits right next to me and seeing him slack all the time is driving me crazy!!!!

I will end this for now.

The way to make Memories

Today is gorgeous out. About 65, maybe 70. Sun is shining, no rain, few clouds.
We are trying something new with DD's bicycle. See, we had training wheels on it but she has bent 3 pairs. She is leaning on one side and since she is a very tall 5 year old, she is also more heavy and she leans hard and ends up bending - and braking the training wheels. I found something called a "Balance Buddy". You can see it on Amazon.com if you like.

Basically it's a large handle you attach to the back wheel. The parents then help guide the bike upright while the child can learn - and trust - their own balance. And, after using it, I have to totally agree with the reviews posted on Amazon.... This item ROCKS!

DH was feeling well today also. We put the bar on the bike but at first, DD was very hesitant. She has a perfectionist gene and if she can't do it in a minute she wants to give up. But some how, he convinced her we could take the bike down to the big, flat lot at the school down the street. And after a few attempts, Daddy was not holding on. Guiding perhaps at time but she was doing it. She doesn't believe Daddy let go -- but I took movies. She is acting very proud of herself - and we are proud too.

But while at the school, there is a playground. We stayed there a bit too. First, she made friends with a little boy that was there with his aunt. Then when he left, she and Daddy climbed the rock wall together. And there is this piece that is under the slide - sort of looks like the walk up window at an ice cream shop. So she loves to play restaurant. I didn't participate much. I'm not feeling so well today. But Daddy was up to playing and it was fun to watch. She put him "in jail" for shouting from a pretend window.... LOL it was funny. Great memories in the making.

And Dad was in rare form. The man I fell in love with was there today. Funny, going with the moment, enjoying life. How I've missed that man.

I have to be careful. Days like this makes me assume there can be more like this. Maybe assume is the wrong word... HOPE is probably what it is like. Then, the weather changes, and his pain is back and it seems 10-fold and I get depressed because that fun man is gone. I can't "expect" days like today with his health. I need to learn to just accept the day, to cherish it and not to be dissappointed if it does not happen again for awhile.

From Parent on-looker to Softball Coach

Sometimes I wonder what I'm thinking. With everything I already have on my plate --
I volunteered to help my daughters Instructional Softball team. There had been a second coach at the first practice but he seems to have disappeared. The guy that is the head coach is doing a great job but as I watched him on Tuesday, trying to keep 12 girls paying attention, doing this all by himself, I thought about the "game".

They are "games" in the sense we will have another team there but in Instructional, they will not keep score. I'm thinking that as the batter is batting, the rest of the girls are on the bench.... and the vision I had was just not good. Imagine 11 girls, aged 5 to 8, sitting there -- or should I say not sitting there.

I recalled all the years I went to watch my nephew and niece play ball (they are now 28 and 26) that the assistant coach or the manager kept the bench "under control". So I offered. And on Friday, I'm off to the Police Station for a BCI (background) check.

I know I would be at the field for all the practices and games anyway but I was thinking I could crochet or make phone calls. But one adult can't do it alone.

Of course, I have never played myself. I'm not athletic in the least but I'm a good cheerleader and keep the girls on their toes and under control.

Wish me Luck!

Sunday + Coverage = STRESS

Okay, I probably should wait to write until I don't feel the stress but....

I have the pager for work. Background: My area at work is sort of split between mainframe computer and pc/server computer products. I have argued for years that we should have 2 pagers because since my expertise is on the mainframe and I cannot even log onto a pc/server, that it seems silly for me to "provide coverage" for the pc side. I'm told the pc people feel the same as I do in regards to the mainframe. But, I have always been told we work together as a team and you just call a co-worker. Guess what - the two people I called that could definitely handle the problem were not home. This was my nightmare come true. Now what?

I called my supervisor. Tells me to check something else. I don't have the tool - never even heard of it. So I guess I can't get on to look, eh?

Thankfully, I tried an alternate number for one person and the spouse gave me the in-laws number where the person was. Fine, problem is under control (and I don't (can't) do any more).

But why the stress - besides what I just listed??
Everyone, everything here in the house.
My 5 year old wants to play, wants lunch. "Mom.....Mom...." - which of course as my anxiety goes up, I snap. That triggers the "guilty Mom feelings". I tell her call her father if she needs something. I HAVE TO WORK. I have to be the one to bring the money in for the bills. I CANNOT let it slide. I have to try my best at this job just in case something changes in the future and they want to eliminate jobs or things.

Then DH - I'm sure he thought it was a help - after making DD's sandwich -- comes by -- as I'm tense as can be at the computer with the phone in one ear and I'm trying to text out on the blackberry/pager -- and tries to snuggle and rub my shoulders. I push him away and I'm sure he is crushed by this because he is so fragile about things like this. Just like one night this week, I got paged as he came to bed and he wanted to snuggle as the thing was going off. I pushed him as "get off of me" and I'm sure he took it personally.

But is it such a stretch to understand how much my job stresses me in times like this? How not being sure I'll be able to handle the problem will result in my failure? and how putting me in a situation that I can only react to because i do not have time to explain makes me a nervous wreck because of how fragile he can be about things? You know, I didn't think he was so fragile but his counselors seem to so what should I believe? Ignore them then if something happens I'll be blaming myself?? Or just try to deal and remember he can be that fragile on this stuff and stress about it all the time?

I don't know where I stand sometimes.
Not home.
Not work.

I think I need chocolate or shopping.
Perhaps shopping for chocolate????

Lazy, Rainy, Saturday

A rainy Saturday. It did clear up but we never left the house.
Softball had "field clean up day" and a practice but it was raining in the morning and hence they were cancelled.

So a lazy day at home. I think I even found the top of my kitchen table!!!

Did a bunch of Webkinz things today and made a ton of webkinz money. Too bad it isn't real! LOL
Cleaned up some toys too.
Watched Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was very cute. DD loved it.
I should be sewing, or crocheting.
But instead, I'm at this machine, trying to get back into Webkinz but the servers seem full.
Maybe I should put a movie in and crochet.

I should have run to the grocery store.... I'm having an IceCream craving.....

ttfn

Becoming a proud Softball Momma

DD is signed up for Instructional Softball. She has been very excited.
My DD - who is not quite 5 1/2 - can be quite the Drama Queen. QUITE!
I was so proud of her at practice the other night. She got hit by the ball while she was doing batting practice. Right on her hands. She immediately broke into tears and a loud wail - the shock and sting, I'm sure. Her coach is very good (I do like how he handles the girls) and said "Ok, why don't you go see Mom, let Mom take a look" while he kept the other girls busy with ground balls to the infield.

As my daughter walks from home plate to the dugout opening near first base, about 1/2 there she stops, turns around and says - with no more tears - "It's ok, I want to bat again.".
No drama. She went right back up there and not afraid of the ball.

In the car, she tells me she lied. I asked what she meant. She said it was still hurting and it hurt for a bunch of minutes after but she wanted to go back and bat so she lied it was better.

This is the same girl at Ice Skating who would she was tired of doing drills, say her ankle hurt or she needed a rest but then wanted to be back out there for "free skate".

She made me one proud Momma