Making time for kids & having to tag along

In 5 ½ years, my daughter has….

• Taken dance lessons for 2 years
• Performed in 3 dance recitals, including one in Hershey Park in Hershey, PA
• Taken a gymnastics class
• Taken swim classes
• Taken ice skating lessons
• Took part in Girls Instructional Softball
• Has been to Disney and stayed on the monorail (and we won’t be doing that again any time soon $$$$)
• Has been to Sesame Park in Langhorne, Pennsylvania 3 times

I sit here and realize she did more in 5 1/2 years than I did in my first 18 years of life.

And I do know why. My mom did not drive and she was busy with her life. Anytime I asked to become involved in something I was told either she couldn't drive me, it cost too much (which we definitely had middle-income for back in the 70's), or I would hear "You won't stick with it.".

I think I know the real reason. My mom was too busy figuring out her life she didn't want to be committed to something. She didn't want to commit the time to get me somewhere every week at a specific time. She wanted to keep her calendar open in case something came along. And though some my say I was spoiled rotten, I did not get what I wanted. I didn't get to do things I wanted.

Having your child involved in activities takes alot of time. Planning. Even what will we have for dinner because we have to be at the field at 6:00. You cannot put yourself first if your child is involved in something. Well, I guess you could and not have your child participate for every instance but then what is that showing them? It is okay to say "I'll do it" and then not. No, no, no. That would not be good.

So I have signed my DD up for whatever she has asked for and I bring her to everything. I'm glad she has interests and I hope she discovers something she really, truly, and deeply enjoys to continue with.

I have one bad habit with my DD. I always ask her if she wants to go with me out - like say shopping. If not, as long as DH is home (well, he's always home :) ) and awake, she can stay home. I believe this is also from my childhood. My mom did not drive. She had to walk everywhere. My dad worked 6 days a week as a mechanic. There was no one to watch me so I had to go everywhere with my mom. To the corner store, to unemployment when she got laid off, to her work (she cleaned houses for people), I even had to go with her to a bar when my parents separated. I didn't like it but there was no choice. And I believe on some level I hold a grudge about having to tag along everywhere. So therefore, if at all possible, I will ensure my DD wants to be with me and not just drag her with me.

Amazing how our childhood can affect us, eh?