If I only knew then what I know now....

THEN...
I would have ignored everyone in my life and I would have gone to college to be a teacher.
But I was told many times by a very significant person in my life that I would never be a good educator. That I didn't have patience. For children or for "teaching".

NOW....
Those who have seen me with my 5 year old tell me how much patience I have. I don't view it as "patience" as much as always trying to understand where my child is coming from. That is what I think I have - a knack to understand someone else. In this case, understand my child.

Last summer, I used up my vacation time at work by accompanying my daughters pre-K class on field trips once a week. I so loved the experience. It felt so rewarding. My daughters teacher seemed please to have me there. I would discipline if I blatantly saw something but otherwise I would just help out in the classroom until the bus arrived and then had fun on the trips themselves. One day I brought in a story to read. The kids loved it. And so did I. It is so nice when I child is looking up at you - respecting you because you earned their respect, enjoy laughing at you when you try to be funny, enjoy the fact you "listen" to what they have to say.

The past couple of months, I've been helping coach. Again, I really did love it. I didn't love making batting orders, field positions. I loved the interaction with the girls. Earning their respect. Having them say at practice "Yes! I'm with Coach Diane". It felt great.

So I think I have proved myself with children.

AND ALSO NOW....
At work, we are hiring interns. They need to be trained. One subject in particular is something I thoroughly enjoy working with. This product is awesome in my opinion and I was asked to take over the training since the woman that did it last year is no longer there. Of course I said yes - I love to get up and spiel and explain things that I know (alright, I'll admit it -- I really love sniffing those whiteboard markers ). But it has been quite awhile in my current job position since I have had the opportunity to train. So I asked for a "test group" to practice with before having the interns.

The first session was yesterday. The previous person covered 4 topics in like 4 hours. Well I'm only about 60% done with one topic and that took me 2 hours. And I will probably use up 2 more hours tomorrow. I may get to cover part of the second topic -- but I'm not guaranteeing it.

I was actually nervous about this training yesterday. The first 1/2 hour I could feel my heart beating in my chest. But then I got over it. One person in the test group - well, I saw him at lunch time today. He said it was the best training he has had and thinks everyone should have it. I told him about feeling my heart beating as I started the training. He said it didn't show.

So now the handful of "guinea pigs" I had for training have been talking around the department and people are ASKING to have my training. I cannot explain the sense of pride this is giving me. If you could only see the smile on my face as I type this!!

And I think this proves I would have been a good teacher. Again, I think it is the same thing that makes me good at this as it is with children -- the ability to understand where my audience is coming from. To be able to speak to them, not at them. To explain in basic terms and then expand on it so the point is understood.

So I am here tonight, needing to get DD to bed. Feeling very good about training and work.

And also feeling good because a good friend sent me a nice "thank you" note for just being there to listen to her lately.

It is nice to feel good.